Text of the Week – I met a real angel

Send to: Cupcake	2011-10-22 00:53	… I met a real angel on Wednesday. For real. Like I think I was talking to a person that no one else could see. It was like a movie.
Send to: Cupcake	2011-10-22 00:54	This is not the weed talking. Trust me.
Received from: Cupcake	2011-10-22 00:54	Whatttt!!!
Send to: Cupcake	2011-10-22 00:55	Yes. I think so. It was right after I got the news.
Received from: Cupcake	2011-10-22 00:56	What did the angel say?
Send to: Cupcake	2011-10-22 00:59	He held my hand. And then said he felt a lot of energy coming from me. He said he was from Switzerland. And that it was a beautiful place. Then he said I was lovely.
Send to: Cupcake	2011-10-22 01:00	His weird dialogue made me feel warm and comforted. I then cried like I was in church to the point where the bartender got nervous and asked me if I was ok.
Send to: Cupcake	2011-10-22 01:01	She (the bartender) talked to me like this guy wasn’t even standing there already holding my hand. She didn’t see him I know she didn’t.
Send to: Cupcake	2011-10-22 01:02	I grabbed my food and purse to leave and when I turned around he was completely gone.
Received from: Cupcake	2011-10-22 01:03	Oh.. wow..that is really an experience.
Send to: Cupcake	2011-10-22 01:04	What do u think? To weird. I know right.
Received from: Cupcake	2011-10-22 01:05	What do you make of it all
Received from: Cupcake	2011-10-22 01:07	No not weird
Received from: Cupcake	2011-10-22 01:08	Things happen to us we can’t explain
Send to: Cupcake	2011-10-22 01:08	Let me describe what he looked like. He was a white older man, like in his 80s but amazingly healthily looking. White hair and skin like butter. Only slightly wrinkled. And when I touched his hand it felt like a babies hand
Send to: Cupcake	2011-10-22 01:09	Everything about him seemed so honest and pure.
Send to: Cupcake	2011-10-22 01:11	I think it means that I’m special and I’m going to be ok…like god is going to protect me.
Received from: Cupcake	2011-10-22 01:12	I agree…u r special..you met ur guardian angel
Send to: Cupcake	2011-10-22 01:15	Have you ever met a white man older than 40 with skin like butter?
Received from: Cupcake	2011-10-22 01:16	No not yet.
Send to: Cupcake	2011-10-22 01:16	My point exactly. I don’t think they exist. Well anyway. Enough txtn. U good?

love-and-text-messages-volume-one-summer-2011

 Love is a Journey.  Stop looking for step by step guides on how to do it. Live, instead.

I would like to begin by saying that I am not a relationship expert or a marriage counselor. I have not an ounce of advice on how to fix broken hearts, or ruined relationships. I’ve messed up either by fault or default almost every relationship that I‘ve had. But what I do well is two things, 1.) Communicate, and 2.) Live life to the fullest. That’s what Love and Text Messages and this Blog are really about.

 

Love is the common thread among all of humanity. At some point in our lives we have all loved, something or someone and have been loved. Love is simple yet complex. Love and Text Messages focuses on the complexities and the components that are not always easily accepted or always considered to be an aspect of Love. Here, I will share my experiences and thoughts about the journey of human love. Texting is a recent discovery and an application of human interaction. Contrary to what some experts have said, texting can be and usually is full of emotion and is an extension of ourselves.

 

I hope the book, the text messages, and my Blog postings compel others to think about, talk about, and accept all aspects of who people are, and how they love no matter the style. Whether through Sex, Romance, Kindness, Generosity, Submission, Swinging, Promiscuity, Monogamy, Voyeurism, or texting, we all have our own way of loving and being loved.

 

Love drives our common quest for happiness and self-gratification. I encourage everyone to focus on being their authentic self while in pursuit of those things that make us happy.  My mantra: “If it feels right, do it.” While this may not work for everyone, the premise if taken to heart can help many people find happiness and minimize regrets. What’s more, if you remain true to whom you are and your own desires, it’s likely that you will find the deepest love – and that is of one’s self. Never sacrifice what you believe and what you want for the sake of another being, and in doing so, inspire others to take the same just stand.  “To thine own self be true” ~ William Shakespeare (Polonius).~Natalie

Friends With Benefits

I met my Friend With Benefits ( FWB ) in early 2005. We are still FWBs today. A FWB is a friend that you have with which you gain the added benefit of sex minus the commitment. FWB to me is different than what some people call ‘No Strings Attached’ (NSA) relationships.  NSA implies that it’s just about sex, no rules, no expectations, and no emotions, and no friendship.  For me, FWB implies that there is a friendship that exist and a mutual respect for one another. It’s like a platonic friendship layered underneath sexual encounters. The sex can exist because you are friends and want to remain friends.

My relationship with my FWB was the beginning of my search for my authentic self. I had a sexual with a woman at a swingers’ party in late 2004. She wanted to connect again.  She asked if she could come over and bring two guys with her.  Since I had been sexually mute during my divorce I was ready to loudly proclaim my sexuality. I gladly welcomed them. When she arrived she had my FWB in tow and another gentleman. The four of us had sex in my living room on the couch and on the floor. We swapped partners and began again. It was a new and surreal experience for me, but I really enjoyed the attention and the sexual satisfaction. 

I didn’t exchange contact information with him that night but I ran into him again a few months later at another swinger’s party. He took me off to a separate room that night and enjoyed each other.  We had several encounters like this over the next year.  After running into each other a few more times he finally asked me if I wanted to ‘kick-it’ a little bit.  I didn’t mind at all.  So we started hanging out; having sex and not having sex.  We just enjoyed each others company. After about two years of this we had a conversation about becoming a committed couple. We mutually agreed that things were fine the way they were and that there was no need to change. 

So from then until now we’ve remained FWBs.  We go to swingers’ parties together.  We go to the movies and out to dinner occasionally.  He may even come over for a family gathering every now and then.  We are not exclusive lovers by any means.  He sees other people and so do I.  We agree to be honest with each other and we can talk about anything…work, sex, family, money, or whatever. That’s how it is and that’s how we like it.

Our relationship is truly beneficial to me as it has allowed me to be open and honest about how much I do enjoy sex and that I appreciate having a sound friendship with a male who is not my boyfriend or husband. We are friends with benefits.

Relationships are Hard

 

I’ve had my fair share of relationships.  When I say relationships I’m not just speaking of romance.  I’m talking about friends, lovers, flings and the like.  People come and go in our lives.  But why? I believe that every friendship is for a season.  Some people we remain friends with for a lifetime, others for just a few months or years. We enjoy the people around us and give of ourselves as given to.  Yet what remains the same in each relationship is that it requires work – work towards a mutually beneficial feeling of satisfaction. 

We get satisfaction out of a relationship based on our own individual expectation of what that person has agreed to give.  Sometimes there is no agreement, not one that has been communicated at least. But when we don’t get what we expect, we become disappointed.  This is where the work comes in.

We have to work at letting our expectations be known.  We have to work at giving what the other person needs and wants.  Sometimes we forget about the other person and become selfish in this regard. For many people including myself it is hard to work at relationships in this manner.  Our same sex acquaintances want to talk and be motivated by each other.  They want to hang out and have fun or share family time.  Out opposite sex acquaintances want reassurance of sexuality – even when the relationship is platonic.  We want someone to remind us that we are great.

But because everyone wants the same out of the relationship, it’s hard to remember to give.  We enter in wanting.  And this is ultimately the failure of all relationships and what makes them hard to maintain. When we decide we don’t want to be friends with someone it usually because they hurt us or disappointed us.  I can almost guarantee that the hurt or disappointment is determined by what we didn’t or get.  Rarely is it determined by what we gave. Thus, it is our selfishness, or our egocentric behavior that make relationships hard.

Perhaps if we were more selfless and giving, we could maintain those relationships for longer.  Or are we destined to have seasonal relationships for life? 

Creating Balance – Fresh Idea #4

If reading is fundamental, writing is essential.

Іf уоu dо nоt kеер а journal оf уоur thoughts, lessons learned, life progress, feelings, interests, оr observations, start оnе today. Таkе а fеw minutes аt thе еnd оf еасh day recording whаtеvеr уоu feel іn sоmе wау contributed tо whо уоu аrе, hоw уоu feel, аnd whо уоu аrе becoming.

Writing your thoughts and feelins will serve two purposes:  one – is will help you to clear your mind of stress and confusion; Two – is will help you gain clarity on your vision and purpose. 

Try it for a week and let me know how it goes.

~Natalie

Text of the Week

Received from: FWB	2012-01-03 22:12	Lolol….what you have on?
Send to: FWB	2012-01-03 22:15	Nothing sexy. Sitting in the kitchen on the computer. got on leggins and a sweater.
Received from: FWB	2012-01-03 22:15	That is sexy on this cold ass night. I got on some sweats n a long sleeve shirt
Received from: FWB	2012-01-03 22:16	Oh n my winter socks lol
Send to: FWB	2012-01-03 22:17	Wish I was under.your blanket. That’s the only reason I’m down here cuz its next.to the fire. Gonna go up soon.
Received from: FWB	2012-01-03 22:19	Yeah I already picture you with that blanket up to your ear in your bed
Send to: FWB	2012-01-03 22:19	LOL 😉
Send to: FWB	2012-01-03 22:21	Hey. Do you remember that time at your house when you fucked me so good and knocked me out that I was moaning in my sleep????
Received from: FWB	2012-01-03 22:22	YEEESSS!! Lovely!!!
Received from: FWB	2012-01-03 22:22	We always gets it in n make memories lol
Received from: FWB	2012-01-03 22:22	You having flashbacks huh
Send to: FWB	2012-01-03 22:23	Lmao!
Send to: FWB	2012-01-03 22:24	Yes we do….at least I didn’t bust a whole in the Mattress with my heel! Buhahaaaa hahahahah!
Received from: FWB	2012-01-03 22:24	LMFAO!!!!!!!
Received from: FWB	2012-01-03 22:25	That’s cause we ain’t never been on no air mattress!!!
Send to: FWB	2012-01-03 22:25	Fo sho
Received from: FWB	2012-01-03 22:26	One time I remember was us out on your deck and you and I in your kithen…..can you say HOT!!
Send to: FWB	2012-01-03 22:43	Hawt
Received from: FWB	2012-01-03 22:49	That too!!

How I Do It

 It’s no secret that I have a crazy and hectic life. Balancing work, lovers, friends, kids, finances, several businesses, hobbies, social life, family, etc is a real juggling act. 

I think at least once a month or more often, someone says to me ”I don’t know how you do it.”  And I just look back at them and say, “I don’t either.”  Well, not really, I do have some idea how I manage. But my philosophy and practices would resonate with few people. So I don’t bother trying to explain.

Even my hussle has hussle.

For me, I don’t have any other option but to get things done.  Failure is not an option. I have to hussle, hard. Even my hussle has hussle. But that’s me, not you or anybody else.  I searched deep in my soul long time ago and I promised myself that I would leave and inheritance to my children’s children. I promised myself not to make the same mistake my parents made. I promised myself that I would be a good example to my children.  So I can’t sit still. I believe that my word is bond. And if I don’t do the things I said I would do, then I am a liar. I don’t believe in the status quo. I believe you are either moving forward or moving backward. I choose to move forward.

“Do or do not, there is no try.” ~Yoda